21 Must-Watch TV Specials from the ’70s That Would Never Get Greenlit Today
In the era of disco balls and bell-bottom jeans, television specials were as wild and wacky as the times. But some of those gems from the ’70s wouldn’t stand a chance in today’s TV landscape. Here are 21 must-watch TV specials from the ’70s that would never see the light of day today.
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The Great Polyester Fashion Show Extravaganza
Picture this: an hour-long spectacle dedicated entirely to showcasing the wonders of polyester fashion. Polyester, hailed for its affordability, durability, and wrinkle resistance, revolutionized clothing production. Its popularity soared, creating vibrant, striking styles from leisure suits to polyester jumpsuits. This special would be a fashion disaster waiting to happen.
Disco Dancing with the Stars
Long before the glitz and glam of today’s dance competitions, there was this groovy gem. Contestants, paired with professional dancers, showcase their moves to iconic disco tunes while vying for the coveted Mirrorball trophy. With celebrities like John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, the show captivates audiences worldwide. However, celebrities strutted their stuff on the dance floor to the funky disco beats, with outrageous costumes and dance moves.
The Pet Rock Olympics
Imagine a televised event where people compete in ridiculous challenges with their beloved pet rocks. The Pet Rock Olympics was a tongue-in-cheek event held in 1975 by Gary Dahl, creator of the Pet Rock craze. It featured events like the 50-Meter Dash (with the rocks staying put) and the Balance Beam (a rock balancing contest). It was absurdity at its finest.
The Evel Knievel Stunt Spectacular
Evel Knievel was the king of daredevil stunts in the ’70s, and this special would feature him attempting his most death-defying feats yet. This special would be a heart-stopping rollercoaster ride, from jumping over rows of flaming cars to attempting to jump the Grand Canyon (spoiler alert: he never made it).
The Brady Bunch Variety Hour
Who wouldn’t want to see America’s favorite blended family singing, dancing, and cracking jokes together? Well, probably everyone after watching this cringe-worthy attempt at a variety show.
The Gong Show: Extreme Edition
The Gong Show was already out there, but this extreme edition would take things to a whole new level. Contestants would compete in bizarre and downright dangerous acts while trying to avoid getting gonged off the stage.
The Love Boat: Underwater Adventure
Ahoy, mateys! Join Captain Stubing and the crew of the Love Boat as they set sail on an underwater adventure like no other. With special guest appearances by mermaids and sea monsters, this special would be a sinking ship in today’s TV market.
The Muppet Show: Disco Fever
Kermit, Miss Piggy, and the rest of the Muppets get their groove on in this disco-themed extravaganza. The special episode aired in 1979. It featured guest stars like Liza Minnelli grooving to disco tunes. The episode captured the disco craze of the late ’70s with flashy costumes, funky dance numbers, and plenty of glitter. From boogieing down to Saturday Night Fever to attempting the hustle, this special would be a hilarious blast from the past.
The Gong Show: Celebrity Edition
Imagine your favorite celebrities humiliating themselves on national television to win a toaster oven. Premiering in 1976, it showcased famous faces like Jamie Farr and Jaye P. Morgan evaluating eccentric acts. The show maintained the zany spirit of its predecessor, with outrageous performances and the infamous gong used to end particularly awful acts. Yeah, it’s probably not happening in today’s celebrity-obsessed culture.
The Donny and Marie Osmond Ice Capades
Donny and Marie were America’s sweethearts in the ’70s, but even their charm couldn’t save this icy disaster. Picture the Osmond siblings attempting figure skating routines while belting their greatest hits. It’s as cringe-worthy as it sounds.
The Battle of the Network Stars: Mud Wrestling Edition
In the ’70s, Battle of the Network Stars was a must-see TV show, but this mud wrestling edition would push the boundaries of good taste. Watching your favorite TV stars roll around in the mud might have been entertaining back then, but it would likely spark outrage today.
The Bob Ross Paint-Off
Bob Ross was a legend in the art world, but even he couldn’t save this paint-off competition from being a snooze fest. Watching amateur painters attempt to recreate Ross’s serene landscapes would be about as exciting as watching paint dry.
The Dating Game: ’70s Edition
Dating shows were all the rage in the ’70s, but this throwback edition would be a disaster waiting to happen. Hosted by Jim Lange, the show aired from 1965 to 1980 and became a cultural phenomenon. Contestants asked witty questions to three unseen suitors, aiming to choose the most appealing one for a date. Ah, the times of cheesy pickup lines, awkward small talk, and plenty of polyester-clad contestants vying for love.
The Disco Inferno Dance-Off
It was a dance-off of epic proportions as contestants competed in a fiery disco showdown. Originating in clubs like Studio 54, dancers grooved to pulsating beats and flashy lights, showcasing moves like the Hustle, the Electric Slide, and the iconic Disco Finger. The event’s popularity soared with the release of hit songs like “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. With disco balls spinning and dance floors blazing, this special would be a hot mess in more ways than one.
The Evel Knievel Celebrity Roast
Evel Knievel may have been a daredevil on the track, but could he handle the heat of a celebrity roast? Probably not, but that wouldn’t stop this special from being a train wreck of epic proportions.
The Gong Show: Animal Edition
Hosted by Chuck Barris, aired in the late ’70s. The show featured everything from trained dogs and performing birds to exotic animal handlers. Contestants faced a panel of celebrity judges, aiming to impress them with their furry or feathered talents. Animals doing talent acts might sound adorable, but this special quickly becomes chaotic as trained seals, dancing bears, and performing poodles take over the stage.
The Bob Dylan Variety Hour
Bob Dylan may be a musical icon, but even his fans would struggle to sit through this variety hour. Picture Dylan attempting comedy sketches, musical numbers, and tap dancing. Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds.
The Love Boat: Space Odyssey
Set phasers to cringe as Captain Stubing and the crew of the Love Boat set sail… in space! With special guest appearances by aliens and robots, this special would boldly go where no TV show has gone before (and for good reason).
The Gong Show: Politician Edition
Who needs political debates when you can watch politicians humiliate themselves on national television? From awkward dance routines to poorly executed magic tricks, this special would be a political disaster waiting to happen.
The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour
The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour was a popular variety show that aired from 1971 to 1974. It starred the real-life husband-and-wife duo Sonny Bono and Cher, who entertained audiences with comedy sketches, musical performances, and guest appearances. Even though Sonny and Cher were the epitome of cool in the ’70s, this comedy hour would be anything but. Picture awkward banter, cheesy jokes, and plenty of cringe-worthy musical numbers.
The Star Wars Holiday Special
Okay, so this one technically aired in 1978, but it’s too bizarre not to include. It was a two-hour TV event, primarily focusing on Chewbacca’s family celebrating “Life Day.” Despite its anticipation and awkward musical numbers to cringe-worthy comedy sketches, this special was so bad that even George Lucas wanted to forget it existed.
18 Classic Movie Quotes That Would Spark Outrage If Said in Today’s Films
Whether or not you are a movie buff, you’re probably familiar with the famous classic movies that shaped generations. Classic movies often contain iconic lines that have become ingrained in popular culture. However, as we look back, we realize how some of these quotes were downright racist, sexist, or misogynistic and have not aged well with time. Here are 24 classic movie quotes that, if said in today’s films, would likely spark outrage and controversy.
