The 80s were a period of neon fashion, synth music, and board games that, by today’s standards, would make parents and regulatory boards clutch their pearls. While we fondly remember these games as part of our childhood, many contain themes, messages, or content that wouldn’t pass muster in today’s more cautious and conscientious world. Let’s dust off the old game boxes and take a nostalgic yet critical look at 13 children’s board games from the ’80s that would likely be banned for inappropriate messaging now.

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“Mr. Mouth”

Developed by Milton Bradley in 1976 for 2-4 players, “Mr. Mouth” had players catapult plastic flies into a rotating frog’s mouth. While this sounds innocent, the imagery of a hungry, gaping mouth snapping at anything in sight could be seen as promoting gluttony and poor eating habits. Modern health-conscious parents might balk at encouraging their kids to think of food in such a frantic way.

“Dream Phone”

Released in 1991 by Milton Bradley. This game revolved around players trying to deduce who has a secret admirer among potential dates. The game included a pink electronic phone to receive clues about the mystery admirer’s identity. Players move around the board, gathering clues and narrowing down suspects. In today’s climate, a game focused on secret admirers and the obsessive calling of boys could be viewed as promoting unhealthy relationship dynamics and gender stereotypes. Teaching kids to use the phone to decipher romantic interest seems a bit outdated (and a tad stalker-ish).

“Crossfire”

“Crossfire” involved players controlling guns mounted on pivoting platforms, aiming to shoot metal pellets into their opponent’s goal while defending their own. The game’s popularity peaked in the 1970s and ’80s, featuring intense ad campaigns. Given today’s concerns about gun violence and aggressive play, a game centered around shooting projectiles at high speed wouldn’t fly. Also, the frenetic ’80s commercial, with kids battling it out in a dystopian arena, might give today’s parents heart palpitations.

“Girl Talk”

“Girl Talk” was a slumber party staple involving dares and secrets. With tasks that included putting make-up on a friend or calling a boy, this game perpetuated gender stereotypes and trivialized the complexity of growing up. Nowadays, games that enforce stereotypical gender roles and place importance on superficial activities are criticized for their outdated and narrow perspectives.

“Mall Madness”

In “Mall Madness,” players race to shop and be the first to finish their shopping spree. Released in 1988 by Milton Bradley, the game aimed to capture the fun of a day at the mall. Today, however, it might be criticized for promoting consumerism and materialism among young children. Encouraging kids to focus on buying as much as possible isn’t exactly in line with modern values of sustainability and financial responsibility.

“Don’t Wake Daddy”

Released in 1992 by Parker Brothers, it was designed for 2-4 players aged five and up. The objective was to collect the most treats without waking Daddy, whose bed randomly springs up. The game had players trying to sneak to the fridge without waking up a snoring, angry dad. The image of a patriarchal figure who explodes in anger when disturbed might not sit well with today’s emphasis on positive parenting and emotional intelligence, though. Teaching kids to tiptoe around a volatile parent is not exactly a message most parents would endorse.

“Candy Land”

The game, created by Eleanor Abbott in the 1940s, gained immense popularity over the years, making it a classic. However, the game’s focus on sugary treats and a journey through a candy-filled land could be seen as promoting unhealthy eating habits. With today’s heightened awareness of childhood obesity and the dangers of excessive sugar consumption, a game centered entirely on sweets could land in the forbidden aisle.

“Grape Escape”

“Grape Escape” involved players molding and mutilating little grape characters. Released in 1992 by Parker Brothers, it gained popularity for its unique theme and mechanics. Though as fun as it was to squish and squash, today’s parents might find graphically crushing anthropomorphic grapes a bit too violent and grotesque for young children. The message that it’s fun to destroy living creatures, even if they’re just clay, might be deemed inappropriate.

“Bed Bugs”

“Bed Bugs” was a strategic board game where players navigated through a bedroom infested with, you guessed it, bed bugs. The game involved players using tweezers to pick plastic bugs off a vibrating bed. While it was a light-hearted game, having bed bugs in your sleeping area might now be seen as promoting poor hygiene or making light of an actual pest problem. Plus, encouraging children to play with replicas of household pests isn’t the most appealing concept.

“Bigfoot”

Set in the Pacific Northwest, “Bigfoot” was a game where players raced to capture a giant foot-shaped monster. The somewhat grotesque and exaggerated depiction of a mythical creature might be seen today as too scary or violent for young kids. Modern standards often prefer games that encourage more wholesome or educational themes rather than those that might fuel nightmares.

“Fireball Island”

Milton Bradley created and released “Fireball Island” in 1986. It was an adventurous game in which players navigated a treacherous island, avoiding fireballs. Despite its popularity, the concept of natural disasters and hazards as entertainment might not sit well today. With increased sensitivity to the impact of natural disasters, the game’s premise could be considered insensitive or trivializing real-world dangers.

“Thin Ice”

“Thin Ice” was a tabletop game where players strategically maneuvered penguins across a fragile ice sheet. Each player took turns placing penguins and removing ice blocks to outmaneuver opponents and be the last penguin standing. However, the metaphor of “walking on thin ice” and the potential for players to “fall through” could be seen as promoting risky behavior. Nowadays, parents prefer games that encourage stability and security rather than precarious balancing acts with negative consequences.

“Pig Pong”

Designed for 2-4 players, “Pig Pong” involves players using air-blowing pig heads to shoot ping-pong balls back and forth. This whimsical yet bizarre concept promotes animal cruelty or disrespect. Additionally, the idea of pigs blowing objects out of their mouths isn’t the most sanitary image to encourage, especially in a world much more aware of hygiene and animal rights.